You might long for your baby’s birth. To unburden yourself from carrying your ever-growing load, to move and sleep without limitation and, of course, to meet your baby. Before you know it, your baby will be here, and you’ll be whisked into a new era of motherhood.
The transition between being pregnant and then suddenly not can itself be glossed over, with the safe arrival of your baby taking priority. However, it’s not uncommon for a sudden sense of loss for your pregnancy to catch you off-guard a few weeks later.
Your baby is in your arms yet you might long for your bump again. A yearning for how you felt while pregnant, on your best days: strong, cosy, excited with anticipation, enjoying fuller hair... And how you were treated: with kindness, respect, special, fussed over.
…There’s a nostalgia bias here which might gloss over the sciatica, constant need to pee, sickness, anxiety, impatience, boredom…
You’ve experienced a major life change and that shift can bring new feelings. Perhaps on the most testing/ cynical days: you’re exhausted, isolated, hair’s piling in the shower. And you’re treated differently: maybe feeling less seen, under-appreciated, commented upon, a constant food source. It makes sense that you miss those (seeming) glory days.
There some traditions which recognise the transition into motherhood such as the South American ‘Closing of the Bones’ ceremony. This treatment acknowledges the job that you and your body have done in growing and birthing a baby and encourages healing. Other European cultures allow for a gentler transition into parenthood: Germany provides mums with dedicated home visits from a midwife for their first 12 weeks, while in the Netherlands a ‘kraamzorg’ (maternity worker) offers daily in person support for the first 8 days. The UK are a long way off delivering this level of support as standard.
All sorts of feelings - from the fleeting to the more prolonged – can greet you postnatally. You’re absolutely not alone. Give yourself the time and space to process, feel and heal. Seek out what you need. Speak to MAYA.
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