‘Trust your instinct’ when making decisions about your new baby... is easier said than done.
The comment can make you feel inadequate if new to this and struggling to know how or what you feel. You were a prized mum-to-be and suddenly you’re cast adrift with a newborn.
And then there’s so many relentless decisions required each day. Let’s take ‘feeding’ and the questions that spun in my head during an average day …
Has she had enough milk? Can she breathe in that position? What time was her last feed? How can I wake her for a feed? Should we still wake her for a feed? Left or right boob? Nappy before or after feed? Are you sure she’s hungry? Shouldn’t you never wake a sleeping baby? Does the countdown to the next feed begin at the start or the end of the last feed? Should I try to pump? Was that a burp? Where’s the muslin? Is she having too much milk? Is anything even coming out? AND REPEAT.
Add to these the topics of nappies, sleep, baby’s health, your health, visitors, getting out the house, what’s for dinner etc. … and you’re in the depths of decision fatigue. It’s exhausting.
The worst is that often there’s no absolute perfect answer which is hard to handle. Sometimes decisions lead to tricky outcomes - a crying baby, a sleepless night for you, a wet babygrow - and sometimes it leads to panic, guilt, upset. You might wish you’d taken option a) instead. Sometimes you just have to take a punt, an educated guess and test things out: celebrate success or prepare for the fallout.
Time passes and you learn through experience. Then your baby enters new phases with new sets of questions to decide upon. It’s unrelenting but you’re emerging as a parent. You’ll feel clear-headed, strong, and more empowered as you go. Honestly.
Share the load and relinquish control where you can; avoid doom scrolling online for advice; let go of always being able to succeed; allow yourself to change your mind; if you feel overwhelmed – step back and take a breath.
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